Pointless Arguments
by Tyrannosaurus
Summary: Tony and Steve have never seen eye to eye, which is understandable when the first thing they did when they met was argue with each other, which says a lot about future encounters with those two. And when the former is an eccentric, entitled, and egotistical billionaire genius and the latter is a righteous and stubborn national icon. You get plenty of pointless arguments.


**Disclaimer: I don't own the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU)**

 **A/N: Hey guys, I've recently delved into the MCU fandom upon the release of Avengers: Infinity War, and to say the least, it has captured my interest, especially Steve x Tony (Stony). I don't usually enjoy Yaoi but this is one of those exceptions, mainly because Chris Evans and RDJ portray them so well and have such a strong bromance in real life. Just so you know, the first chapter is mostly written in Tony's point-of-view, but does sort of get narrative near the beginning.** **BTW, A Simple Wish: Rethought will be continued some time in July.**

 **Pointless Arguments**

A few weeks after the fall of SHIELD, Thor returned from Asgard and Steve, Natasha and Sam all moved back into the Avengers Tower.

Tony Stark, though he may not show it very often, if at all, was rather pleased and happy that all the Avengers decided to move back into his, no, their tower permanently. The thought of them being separated like the months following the events at New York saddens him and leaves him unsettled. Maybe he and Steve can finally sort things out between them and actually become friends, or something more if that's possible seeing as Pepper and he aren't together anymore. But he's far too old to be getting sentimental and lovey-dovey now.

It's the middle of the afternoon in New York and all the Avengers are in the commonfloor doing their own thing with Natasha, Bruce and Clint preparing lunch, Tony and Thor watching Star Wars as the latter laughs at all the wrong times and Steve drawing the two.

"Hey, uh, does someone here have a rubber?" Steve enquiries. "I made a mistake on my drawing."

"A what?" Tony asks, catching everyone's attention. Rightfully so too, as every conversation Tony and Steve ever get into ends in a screaming contest.

"A rubber, do you have one on you right now?" Steve replies.

"Okay, first of all, do you think I have a _rubber_ on me right now? And secondly, _rubber_?! What the fuck is a _rubber_?" Tony snaps, suddenly in a bad mood and taking extra care to enunciate the word "rubber" as if he had never heard it before.

Steve frowns and looks at Tony. "What do you mean 'what's a rubber?'? A rubber is the thing you use to rub out pencil and charcoal marks."

The rest of the team all stop what they're currently doing and look wearily between the two, having a good idea of where this conversation is heading if Tony's tone is anything to go by. Thor, however, just looks confused as to what they're talking about.

"That's not a _rubber_! That's an eraser! Did being stuck in the ice for 70 years make you forget basic English vocabulary?!" Tony exclaims. "The fact that you used the word _rubber_ in my presence, heck, the fact that you used that word at all is offensive. And they call you a national icon. Wait till the press hear this…"

Steve sets his sketchbook down on the desk a little too harshly, already being riled up by Tony over his accusation.

"No it's a rubber! The real question should be what's an _eraser_! Everyone knows what a rubber is, apparently only you don't! And you call yourself a genius. You know what you are? Delusional." Steve practically snarls out while standing up and walking towards Tony until they're right in each others faces.

"How the fuck is it a _rubber_ if you use it to erase things?! What is that logic?! As a renowned physicist and engineer, I am deeply, and I mean deeply offended as I'm apparently hosting someone who's logical thinking skills are comparable to Jar Jar Binks."

The rest of the Avengers, having long gotten used to the two screaming at each other at the top of their lungs, sit and watch, some even slightly amused at the pointlessness of the argument.

Steve narrows his eyes and frowns even deeper because unfortunately, he understood that reference. "It's a rubber because you rub it! The name tells you what to do with it! You don't call a steering wheel a 'circular leather object with a logo on it' do you?!"

"Well do you call charger a 'plug it in the wall port and plug the USB in your phone'?! What you call a _rubber_ is actually an eraser because it erases things. Rubber is a tough elastic polymeric substance made from the latex of a tropical plant or is synthetically produced! Not something you use to erase pencil marks!" Tony shouts angrily in Steve's face. "Unlike you, people name things by what they are, not what you're supposed to do to make them work!"

"What you call _erasers_ are actually made of rubber! And therefore they should be called rubbers! Not _erasers_! To erase is to remove something completely, sometimes people, especially artists don't want to remove some pencil marks completely, sometimes we just want to rub them a bit to make them seem faded! Wouldn't expect _you_ to know. You're all bar charts and numbers. No wonder Pepper dumped you, you're too bland and boring." Steve basically spat out, stepping even closer to Tony while Tony takes a step back.

"Woaw, Steve, that was low." Clint says, clearly shocked along with the rest of the team. However, this statement goes unnoticed by the two arguing.

Tony's face morphs into one of horror and a hint of sadness for a split second, but the expression is quickly replaced by one of fury.

Tony is seething. "You call me bland yet you're the one Peggy left for another man! Newsflash in case you didn't get it during that visit of yours to her hospital, she remarried! You weren't good enough for her then and you never will be. She probably partied hard after you went in the ice, understandably too."

Upon the mention of Peggy, Steve's defences falter for a second, but he's quick to recover and retort.

"Seeing you now, I can see why Howard neglected you. You're a lost cause, it's no wonder you were sent off to boarding school so early, he couldn't stand being near your presence. You're no Stark, a Stark is honourable, witty and respectable, you're anything but those traits. I was beginning to see where I may be wrong in my initial gut judgement of you back on that Helicarrier. But you know what they say, always trust your gut, because it's never wrong." Steve growled.

"That's enough!" Natasha's shout could be heard cutting through the tense air of the argument, effectively ending it instantly. The two knew better than to go against Natasha. "I don't know what's gotten into you two but this must stop! You're shouting so loud people from Moscow could probably hear you! I don't know what happened to make it escalate to this point but this is unacceptable, you're teammates and so you should start acting like ones. Furthermore, what if the press got footage of you two biting your heads off? We don't want to risk losing public confidence in us just because you two can't get along. Now go back to your floors and think about how you're gonna apologise to each other tonight."

"What?! I'm never apologising to _him_. I'd rather sell off my company to Justin Hammer than do that! Plus why does he get to have the last word out! That's not fair!" Tony exclaimed.

Ignoring Tony's childish exclamation, Natasha said. "Well you better start selling then, because I'm banning access to the coffee machine and the gym until you two make up and apologise. And don't even try to lie to me, because I'll know." Natasha stared them both down, expression dead serious.

Being given their ultimatum and seeing no other way around it. Tony and Steve both stomp off in opposite directions, just wanting to get as far away from each other as possible.

"I'd die before I apologise to that asshole." Tony murmured under his breath.

Unfortunately for Tony however, Steve thanks to his enhanced hearing was able to pick up Tony's last words. _What have I done?_ Steve sighed sadly and regretfully while walking away.

Unbeknownst to him, so did Tony.


End file.
